30 April 2007


The lean times are over, kind of: on the horizon I can see the outlines of that rara avis, the Tentpole Blockbuster that will also be Good. And by "horizon" I mean "this Friday."

The series that made comic book movies great again comes to a well-earned close with Spider-Man 3, the one and only summer movie that I'm legitimately excited about. And why not? The first two were popcorn masterpieces of the highest order. I do think that there's a possibility of finale-itis, and the trailers certainly make it look like this film is going a bit too operatic for it's own good, but I will not let such considerations harsh my buzz. Sam Raimi has never done anything terribly wrong by me, and I don't expect that he shall begin now.

And now: the counter-programming! After months on the shelf, Curtis Hanson's Vegas-based romantic dramedy Lucky You finally gets its release on. Now, I like Hanson. I like him a whole lot. But this film looks a little bit floppy. Also: a Scottish sports hero movie, The Flying Scotsman, and while inspirational sporting movies usually give me a rash, something about the trailer here calls to me, and I think that something goes by the name Brian Cox. Also also: Peter Krause, whom I adore, is in the post-9/11 paranoia thriller Civic Duty, which has politics that I don't quite comprehend: is it wingnutty? Is it sane people? Time will tell.

The coasts: Paris, je t'aime. You lucky fucks.

Here is why I think that Spidey will take the summer's box-office crown: it's the only one of the Big Three* that doesn't have a major release to compete with the week after it premieres. Viz: three monstrously unlikable actors in Delta Farce, AKA "Larry the Cable Guy Goes to War." Or, Georgia Rule, the new Garry Marshall film (WHY WON'T HE RETIRE?), in which Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman yell at Lindsay Lohan to stop being a druggy slut. I'm sorry, that's what happened on set. I don't quite care what the movie is about.

I guess you could argue that 28 Weeks Later... is going to do well for itself, being as it is a sequel to a gin-yoo-wine cult masterpiece, but that would require that most filmgoers are like me, and I think we can all agree that isn't the case.

I'm under strict orders not to say anything mean about Shrek the Third before I see it. So instead I'll talk about Shrek and Shrek 2, which were both smarmy and overly post-modern, typifying everything I hate about modern family films, and they were horribly animated to boot. But hey! The new one might be awesome, and I have no reason to assume that won't be exactly the case.

Of course I say that, and then I find that a Zach Braff comedy, The Ex, is the counter-programming. Bad week to be a film buff.

Also: Fay Grim, the sequel to Henry Fool, which I will hopefully see in the next two weeks, because that is the way I do these things. At any rate, the notion of a Parker Posey spy thriller makes me feel giddy

Arr, it be Pirates 3. I've pretty much run out of enthusiasm for this one, after each and every trailer and publicity still makes it look a little more bloated and pretentious than the last. I'll still be part of its record-setting opening weekend, of course, but I shan't be happy with myself.

Perhaps wisely, nothing else is getting a big push today (although there are some likely candidates in New York and L.A., damn your eyes) except for the long-delayed Bug, which I am told is a fantastic play, and certainly, the trailer is all full up of moody lighting and high tension.

Also, it appears that Lars von Trier is trying his hand at light comedy. Because life isn't weird enough.


Will said...

We get Paris, je t'aime? This weekend even? Damn bad marketing to Hell. I'm so pumped!

Sorry man.

Spiderman or new Coen/Craven/Cuaron/Chris Doyle directing/Tykwer/Van Sant/Payne? Tough call, that.

Also, I'd agree with you about 28 Weeks Later if the trailer didn't confirm that EVERYTHING you loved about the original has been sucked entirely out of this film.


Cameron said...

you sarcastic bastard.

Will said...

There is no sarcasm. I'm honestly conflicted about which movie I'd rather see first, and I'd be pumped about 28 Weeks Later if it maintained any of the visuals, direction, or talent from the first. Those three elements are, I feel, the strong points of the first.

cinewhore said...

Ha! Even Singapore got Paris, je'taime before you Yankees did! Like two months ago. Muahaha.

And Will, FYI, the Chris Doyle segment blew. Mightily.

Tim said...

I'm disappointed, but not surprised that the Doyle segement was not so good. Does your silence on the others mean that they are all brilliant? We'll assume that's the case.

Also, I refuse to believe that 28WL will suck until I've walked out of the theater saying to myself, "Jesus, that sucked."

funkyb0ss said...

"I'm under strict orders not to say anything mean about Shrek the Third before I see it"

Just out of curiosity, from whom? If I were you (and if I were, I'd be a lot more erudite), I'd lay into it immediately, preemptively, and mercilessly.

Tim said...

A dear friend has a brother who's an effects animator at Dreamworks, and she got me to promise I wouldn't talk smack about the movie until after I've seen it...

...at which point I'm going to unleash the holy wrath of God on the fucker.

Cameron said...

will i didn't mean YOU were the sarcastic bastard, i meant TIM was, and it had nothing to do with Paris Je T'aime but rather with the comment right above this one.