I got to thinking a few days ago: it's been three years now since the great Disneython of 2009, which I still humbly think to be this blog's crowning achievement. And I was filled with a great longing to so something of equal scale and equal Disney-ness.
The good news for me is that there is an obvious direction to take this urge, juicy and ripe for the picking. The bad news is that the direction in question is the dreaded, notorious direct-to-video sequels to the "proper" Disney features that were produced by various wings of Disney's television animation department over a decade and a half.
I always knew, deep in my heart, that this day would eventually come; but when "eventually" becomes "today", it's rather hard to process. It's not nearly as exciting to contemplate as the Walt Disney Feature Animation canon was, and for that reason I'm not going to be as systematic and dogged about it: instead of one post every single day until I'm done, these reviews will come a bit more erratically, when there's a hole in the schedule, or when I'm feeling especially ambitious. My hope is that starting this early in September, I'll still be able to wrap things up by the December holidays, but let's not spoil things by setting a deadline. The end will come when it comes.
I'm going to kick things off today with a prologue of sorts: a pair of theatrical releases that aren't really sequels to anything at all, but represent the first attempt by the Disney television studios to create feature-length stories, and thus have some pride of place even if they're not otherwise in line with the theme of this marathon; besides the which, I'll never have a better excuse to write them up than now. The actual sequels will start coming next week, and for those who want to play along at home, I'm including the list of all 40 (!) titles I'll be reviewing below the jump. It was surprisingly difficult to decide where to draw the line between "sequel" and "spin-off", and I have in general erred on the side of inclusivity, though I had to stop short when confronted with so many damn Pooh videos that are nothing but compilations of random episodes from the early '90s Pooh TV show.
The Return of Jafar (1994)
Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)
Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin (1997)
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997)
Belle’s Magical World (1998)
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World (1998)
The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride (1998)
Hercules: Zero to Hero (1999)
The Tigger Movie (2000)
Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins (2000)
The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000)
Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure (2001)
Return to Never Land (20002)
Cinderella II: Dreams Come True (2002)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002)
Tarzan & Jane (2002)
101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure (2003)
The Jungle Book 2 (2003)
Atlantis: Milo’s Return (2003)
Stitch! The Movie (2003)
The Lion King 1½ (2004)
Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo (2004)
Mulan II (2004)
Pooh’s Heffalump Movie (2005)
Tarzan II (2005)
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005)
Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie (2005)
Kronk’s New Groove (2005)
Bambi II (2006)
Leroy & Stitch (2006)
Brother Bear 2 (2006)
The Fox and the Hound 2 (2006)
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007)
Disney Princess Enchanted Tales: Follow Your Dreams (2007)
The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning (2008)
Tinker Bell (2008)
Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure (2009)
Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue (2010)
Pixie Hollow Games (2011)
Secret of the Wings (2012)
07 September 2012
20 comments:
Just a few rules so that everybody can have fun: ad hominem attacks on the blogger are fair; ad hominem attacks on other commenters will be deleted. And I will absolutely not stand for anything that is, in my judgment, demeaning, insulting or hateful to any gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. And though I won't insist on keeping politics out, let's think long and hard before we say anything particularly inflammatory.
Also, sorry about the whole "must be a registered user" thing, but I do deeply hate to get spam, and I refuse to take on the totalitarian mantle of moderating comments, and I am much too lazy to try to migrate over to a better comments system than the one that comes pre-loaded with Blogger.
This is nuts! I just published an article about Return to Neverland on my blog immediately before you posted this! Freaky.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you have to do this to yourself?
ReplyDeleteSome of these are not bad. Others...should not be watched by anyone older than four.
ReplyDeleteWhy those terrible Tinkerbell movies and not the Ducktales movie or A Goofy Movie? Those Tinkerbell monstrosities have as little to do with the canon, if not less, as those two legitimately not-bad movies.
Ditto for Tinkerbell movies, they make bank all over the world, even when the 3d offerings from other countries are far more quirky and interesting.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking at this list and I just...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Tim.
Deep down inside, I know I want to do this, pain or not. I've only actually seen two of the movies on this whole list (Return of Jafar and Search for Christopher Robin), and it seems... wrong, I guess, that a Disney completist should have such a major gap in his knowledge.
ReplyDeleteI do regret some of the things I'll be exposing all of my readers to, though.
And I reserve the right to stop the Tinker Bell pictures after the first one - I have, literally, no idea whatsoever what I'm getting myself into as far as those are concerned.
Goddamn--this is gonna be fantastic. I've only ever seen one of these--The Lion King II--and it was pretty gruesome. It'll be super-fascinating to see you cast a critical eye on all this nonsense.
ReplyDeletei didn't even know that 90% of these existed!
ReplyDeleteThis should be fun (for the reader if nothing else)
May God have mercy upon your soul.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be amazing.
"these reviews will come a bit more erratically, when there's a hole in the schedule, or when I'm feeling especially ambitious."
ReplyDeleteYou spelled masochistic wrong.
Some of these I have to admit to actually enjoying, sort of, maybe?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it's just the nostalgia goggles that make Lion King II and Return of Jafar not feel like complete and utter train wrecks. Mostly, though, I would be expecting a lot of blandness, but the truth is that I am expecting amazing quantities of stupid.
I'm curious if you will find the majority of these even less defensible than the barrel-bottom slasher flicks. Jesus god, man.
ReplyDeleteAs it happens, the first two "Tinkerbell" movies are actually not *so* bad.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I just recently finished my own, far more truncated mini-marathon of Disney sequels because, like you, I'd seen all the Canon movies and I Had To Know. I was a gibbering wreck by the last one.
Knowing what I know about some of the ones I skipped, you are in for a hell of a ride (and all-dog country bands) and I wish you the very best of luck.
It's interesting that possibly the most blasphemous of these pictures, Cinderella III, is the only one that comes even remotely close to functioning as a competent movie in its own right.
ReplyDeleteConsidering the views you've expressed in the past, I'm itching to see what you say about the Lion King sequels (particularly 1.5, Hunchback II, and, of course, Atlantis II.
I loved your previous two Disneythons and the first one was the reason I discovered your blog and read it all the time now. I do fear for your sanity though with this next marathon. I have seen many of the Pooh spin offs thanks to my mom and the Goofy Movie and Ducktales movie, but I avoided all the sequels like the plague. God help you!
ReplyDeleteTim,
ReplyDeleteCan I be the voice of dissent here and say: Tim, don't do this. I love your comprehensive archive of animated movie commentary, especially your Disney retrospective. I don't know any other reviewer who has your knowledge of animation and its history. Don't bury all that hard work (along with the animated gems on which it is based) by reminding us of the DTV dreck that exists. There are plenty of internet Geeks out there who do that and have probably already said what needs to be said (Thatguywiththeglasses.com, for example), but I consider you a more serious reviewer.
I do admire your reviews of Ducktales and A Goofy Movie as those were earnest efforts that represent turning points in Disney animation, but seriously, STOP THERE.
I would like to know your take on some of the non-Disney animated films like: The Iron Giant (still waiting, Tim!), The Last Unicorn, The Hanna Barbera Charlotte's Web, Spirit: Stallion of Cimmaron, Watership Down, and some of the Bakshi films.
Even films that are widely panned (Quest for Camelot), have mostly nostalgic value (Ferngully and Balto), or were questionably received (Titan AE) are more worth your viewing and critical thought than movies that compromise production quality and story and rather exploit the familiarity of classic characters for a quick buck.
I'm sure a lot of people will have fun with your take on the Disneytoon DTVs, but please consider my concerns for the investment of your time and energy.
Any bad film lover has not lived until they have sat through Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. It's the movie that most people pictured Disney making the first time but didn't get: utterly frivolous, goofy, devoid of drama or conflict, and completely violating the spirit of Hugo. And the music... that sweet, terrible music. I don't know if it's better or worse than The Apple.
ReplyDeleteYes!!
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be amazing.
The 2009 reviews are now unavailable. What's the deal?
ReplyDeleteNo idea what was going on there, but it's fixed now.
ReplyDelete