It seems disingenuous to talk about the start of traditional blockbuster season when what's likely to end up the year's biggest superhero movie is already going strong, but that's the giddy world we live in today. So anyway, here's the kick-off to one of the more peculiarly quiet-looking summers we've had in a long while.
2.5.2014
Having already showed up in most of the world, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 hits the States. And if you know anybody who's excited about that fact, you're one up on me. Whatever fans The Amazing Spider-Man was able to gin up back in 2012 seem to have faded back into the woodwork, and the opening film of the new summer is, I would say, indisputably the blandest looking.
9.5.2014
The weekend where movies go to die is led by Neighbors, a dirty comedy with Seth Rogen and Zac Efron, who is just enough of a weird casting choice that I'm kind of intrigued. The rest is all silence: Jon Favreau's Chef is an obvious metaphor for the pain of being forced to receive large sums of money to direct Iron Mans, Moms' Night Out is yet another of those Christian-themed movies that have been doing such astounding business in 2014, and Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, which from the footage available so far looks like the ugliest animated movie ever made. Like, literally ever. I kind of can't wait.
16.5.2014
GODZILLAAAAAAAAAA!
(and Million Dollar Arm, some tediously sweet Disney sports movie about Indian kids being dazzled by Jon Hamm and the United States, nothing sociologically terrible about that. But it has Lake Bell, and I would cross broken glass in my bare feet for Lake Bell).
23.5.2014
I, for one, have largely abandoned hope for the X-Men franchise, but if nothing else, X-Men: Days of Future Past has Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen again. But really, at this point I feel the series has nothing left to prove one way or the other, and we all know exactly what we're getting into.
I feel the same way about the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore romcom Blended, which is shaping up to be the most obnoxious movie of the summer, and without a single CGI robot to its name.
30.5.2014
The sole justification for Maleficent is obviously Angelina Jolie's presence as the title character, though it's quite a hell of a justification. Still, the "dark fairy tale that explains the villain's point of view" shtick is one of the most unbelievably tedious in the world, and as the directorial debut of the production designer of Alice in Wonderland, so I don't see room for even a sliver of optimism.
Seth MacFarlane brings his whole deal to the Wild West with A Million Ways to Die in the West, with an extraordinary cast, and based on the trailer, a grand total of one joke, repeated infinitely, till we all die.
30 April 2014
9 comments:
Just a few rules so that everybody can have fun: ad hominem attacks on the blogger are fair; ad hominem attacks on other commenters will be deleted. And I will absolutely not stand for anything that is, in my judgment, demeaning, insulting or hateful to any gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. And though I won't insist on keeping politics out, let's think long and hard before we say anything particularly inflammatory.
Also, sorry about the whole "must be a registered user" thing, but I do deeply hate to get spam, and I refuse to take on the totalitarian mantle of moderating comments, and I am much too lazy to try to migrate over to a better comments system than the one that comes pre-loaded with Blogger.
God, I don't even know what to think anymore. Is it possible that bitter, cynical old me is actually feeling the unfamiliar sensations of....excitement? Anticipation? A sense of optimism?
ReplyDeleteAbout the Godzilla movie? I am loving the way it's being marketed. The TV spots are having their way with me in a way that's starting to feel indecent. After all, the trailers for "Man of Steel" made that look like something special, too. And we all no how that worked out.
I'm Charlie Brown, and Lucy is setting up the football ONCE AGAIN.
Godzilla TV spots are really killin me...I think more than any other movie, I so WANT this to be good.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, its gotta be better than '98
I am emotionally invested in Godzilla to an unhealthy degree at this point.
ReplyDeleteAmazing Spider-Man 2 sucks exactly as much as you think it will. I mean, granted, I hated the first one with more venom that anyone I know online or off, but I imagine my antipathy will be more broadly shared this time out. The screenplay makes Spider-Man 3 look coherent, for fuck's sake.
ReplyDelete"I'm Charlie Brown, and Lucy is setting up the football ONCE AGAIN."
ReplyDeleteHeh, perfect.
I find myself also inordinately fascinated by "Legends of OZ", if only because it's been a while since I've seen a movie wear it's "Yeah, this thing sat on a shelf for years"-ness so seemingly proudly. That said, I think the record-holder for the ugliest animated movie ever made, and in every definition of the word "ugly", for the foreseeable future is "FoodFight". Do not watch this movie.
I'd have sworn "Maleficent" was already in and out of theaters and available on DVD by now?
I enjoyed x-men: first class a lot more than you did, and to paraphrase Tim, I would cross broken glass in my bare feet for even a bad time travel movie, so I'm gonna like Days of Future Past justfine. That said, I predict the summer to peak at Godzilla and everything after to just slowly sag into a post-partum depression
ReplyDeleteSomewhat surprisingly The Amazing Spider-man 2 is getting pretty favourable reviews over here in the UK. I wouldn't know myself, since I basically decided to give up superhero movies for good after Man of Steel. And it would take a lot more that another over-CGd bout of web-slinging from Andrew Garfield for me to fall off the wagon.
ReplyDeleteIt's remarkable how all the good will Seth MacFarlane built up by producing COSMOS vanished instantaneously when I saw the trailer for A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST.
ReplyDeleteAlso--when can we expect your review of this film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2091325/?ref_=nv_sr_1?
The villain POV concept never gets old for me, and not even Wicked and Star Wars will ruin my immediate desire to absorb any content that involves it. Besides, Maleficent has always been my favorite Disney villain,* and Angelina Jolie is the perfect person to play her except for maybe Tilda Swinton (and I don't want her to have to spend ALL her time playing androgynous supernatural creatures, as much as I love them).
ReplyDeleteAs for Godzilla... I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Remember the marketing campaign for the 90's one? It was exciting, too. And those trailers showed literally every good moment from an otherwise dire movie.
*And that of every little girl who secretly wants to lock up handsome princes in her dungeon.