COUNTDOWN TO INDY 4: MARKETING THE MAN IN THE HAT

Prior to the brand-new and mostly conflicting buzz out of Cannes, all we knew about Indy 4 was what we could see from the trailers and posters. What does this tell us about where the film might fit in with the previous chapters?

The Trailers

Raiders of the Lost Ark - Teaser


Nowadays they'd probably say something like "from the visionary minds of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas" instead of putting JAWS and STAR WARS in what appears to be the Rocky font, but I appreciate the effort. What follows is just a mess, though: the film advertised looks nothing like Jaws or Star Wars, and the music sounds all chopped to bits, and other than the nugget that God's walkie talkie is involved, it tells us nothing at all about the movie. It's not clear to me how anyone could be excited by the brief clips of action scenes that we now know to be thrilling, but trailers from the '70s and early '80s are noted for their suckiness.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 4/10


Raiders of the Lost Ark - Trailer



Well, it surely does tell us a lot more about the plot, and it doesn't wield the giant club of Jaws and Star Wars. But it could do a lot more to suggest that the film is, y'know, full of fun action. The ponderous voice-over does nobody any good, and the choice of music is just lousy.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 3/10


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Teaser



Now, this is how you tease a sequel: the guys who made the first one are making another one. You liked the first one? Then you're coming see this one no matter what we show you, aren't you. Bonus points for the clever use of the Indy Map.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 9/10


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Trailer



"If adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones." One of the great lines in movie advertising history. There's a whole lot this trailer does right: shows that Indy's humor is intact, that he's visiting lots of sexy, exotic places, and it gives just a hint of the film's plot. It even makes Kate Capshaw's Willie Scott look cool and clever, not jackhammer annoying. It doesn't really show that the film has much adventure to it, but it also avoids revealing what a grim, dark affair the finished result proved to be.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 8/10


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Teaser



Great mood-setting, using some of the iconic music from Raiders. I go back and forth on whether showing Lucas and Spielberg and the actors out of character is that smart - it's like 1975 - JAWS and 1977 - STAR WARS with somehow less subtlety, but overall, it gets the job done: we're making another one, and it's got Sean Motherfuckin' Connery in it. It also makes no effort to show that it's not going to be another Temple of Doom.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 6/10


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Trailer



Brilliant. Gives us all we need to know about the plot: Indiana is looking for the Ultimate MacGuffin. Amply demonstrates that the interplay of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery is going to be a huge part of what makes the movie fun. And best of all, it seriously amps up the action we see compared to the previous films' trailers: omigod, Indy is fighting Hitler! There are explosions! There are tanks! There are speedboats!

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 10/10


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Teaser



That opening music is just not Indy enough, no two ways about it. And though I appreciate the nostalgic romp though Indiana's past, the lines they use to describe Temple of Doom and Last Crusade are, to be polite, inaccurate. But with that out of the way, it goes straight to eleven: there's absolutely no better way to reintroduce the character than to show him picking up his hat, and if you weren't stirred by the first notes of that theme when you saw this trailer the first time, you are just a terrible human being. I'm not thrilled by the "bigness" of the action, or the "I thought that was closer" one-liner, but everything else makes me think that the Indy of yore is back. And it does the most important thing it could possibly do: demonstrate that Harrison Ford isn't that old, after all.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 8/10


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Trailer



Ouch. The opening narration just underscores to me what a thin idea crystal skulls are for this film's MacGuffin. And Cate Blanchett's Russian accent is dodgy as it could be. And it looks like there is going to be a lot of CGI in this film. And that's a really shitty way to showcase Karen Allen's return to the franchise. Still, the action looks well-imagined, and the power of the Raiders March cannot be denied.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 6/10


Posters

Raiders of the Lost Ark - Teaser

Good God, there's that JAWS and STAR WARS again. There's a bit of blandness to the design, and Ford looks pissed, but the effect is very much one of the old serials reborn, and there can be nothing more we ask of an Indiana Jones poster.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 5/10


Raiders of the Lost Ark - One-sheet

One of my favorite posters, if not my favorite poster, of the 1980s. The tagline is sexy, and the soon to be over-used design is both simple and iconic. There's not a single face whose expression is less than wonderful - I particularly love Karen Allen - and of course there's Indy's shit-eating grin and that whip is the stuff of legend.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 10/10


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Teaser 1

That pose, it does make Our Hero look like some kind of god, no? Plus that wonderful tagline. In 1984, that must have made people's heads explode.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 9/10


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Teaser 2

The only piece of Indiana Jones ad art that isn't hand-drawn, and that is a major point against it. The cutesy-poo tagline is weak, and the whole thing seems like a men's cologne ad.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 3/10


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - One-sheet

Drew Struzan's first work with the series, and it's okay, but the gentle arc just isn't the same as the "head surrounded by icons" of Raiders or the later posters. The bone edge has always bothered me, and Kate Capshaw looks stoned, while Harrison Ford's eyes are all wrong. The left side of this poster is just so much cooler than the right.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 5/10


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Teaser

The tagline is a bit cute, but I've always liked it. Of all the Indy posters, this is the one that gets that twinkle in his eye the best. But overall, it's a bit undramatic, especially compared to the Temple of Doom teaser.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 6/10


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - One-sheet

Love it. The tagline is fun, punny and descriptive, three good things for a tagline to be; the design is very clean but full of details about the characters and the desert setting. Plus, the look on Connery's face is absolutely priceless. Not crazy about the sandy border.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 8/10


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Teaser

Godawful. Simply godawful. Cribs the classic design of the Temple of Doom teaser but wrecks the balance, and plops in what looks like magma until it resolves itself into an alien face. And Indy's pose looks awkward.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 2/10


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - One-sheet

Indy's hat is a size or two too big, doncha think? But otherwise, this is a good design, vaguely quoting most of the other films' posters without being aggressive about it. I don't much care for the crystal skull, but at least it looks like crystal, not a lava monster. It is possible that the look on Shia LaBeouf's face is more interesting here than it ever has in life. The whole thing is touch on the dark side, though, and it's all a bit cluttered.

How Excited I Am For This Movie: 7/10