VOTING CLOSED - WINNER: JACK FROST
Thanks to everyone who voted!
In all of film history, there was never a worst time to be a horror fan than the late 1990s. Even the times when they basically weren't making horror films were better; nothing at all is preferable to such filth-sucking mediocrity as the genre was able to produce in the era when the last choking death of straight slashers played itself out on video, while movie theaters bore witness to a parade of desperately over-hip Scream wannabes that favored insufferable, '90s-style irony over even the minutest attempt to do something real.
Naturally, we must spend a moment genuflecting in the direction of these terrible, terrible movies.
Jack Frost (1997)
From IMDb: "A serial killer dies, comes back as a snowman, and wreacks [sic] havoc."
Lake Placid (1999)
From IMDb: "Horror-Comedy about a man-eating crocodile loose in the lake."
Urban Legend (1998)
From IMDb: "A college student suspects a series of bizarre deaths are connected to certain urban legends."
17 July 2014
17 comments:
Just a few rules so that everybody can have fun: ad hominem attacks on the blogger are fair; ad hominem attacks on other commenters will be deleted. And I will absolutely not stand for anything that is, in my judgment, demeaning, insulting or hateful to any gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. And though I won't insist on keeping politics out, let's think long and hard before we say anything particularly inflammatory.
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I voted for Jack Frost, but I gotta say I'd be super happy with any one of these. That's a real murderer's row of late '90s crap.
ReplyDeleteI love Lake Placid unironically
ReplyDeleteI pretty much, mostly, sort of do, too.
ReplyDeleteI mean, Betty White, swearin' up a blue streak that would make a sailor blush, while feeding her killer croc?
There are people who don't mostly, sort of love that movie?
Well I declare.
I'm tempted to vote for Urban Legend, mainly because I know you'll hate it. But that would be cruel. Which of these films have you seen before?
ReplyDeleteUrban Legend, so we can hear your thoughts on the pop rocks/soda scene.
ReplyDeleteHave to go with Jack Frost. I've vividly recall seeing the terrible/great lenticular cover that transformed from a happy snowman to an evil one depending on the angle in the video store back in the day. That's solely reason I cast my vote.
ReplyDeleteI would have voted for the Michael Keaton "Jack Frost" that came out in the same year... but I actually watched this one back in the day and have no desire to relive it.
ReplyDeleteUrban Legend could actually be fun, so there's my vote.
I have a distinct memory of being a kid in the early 90s, browsing the VHS racks in my local supermarket while my parents paid for the shopping, and being fascinated and mystified by the covers for the 18-rated horror movies, imagining what gruesome wonders might lie inside. I voted for Jack Frost, purely on the grounds that it was one of the titles that particularly caught my eye.
ReplyDeleteAs it turns out, what I was picturing at the time is remarkably close to what John Carpenter's The Thing actually looks like. I somehow doubt that was actually the case.
Can I vote for all of them?
ReplyDeletealso, you could do the Michal Keaton holiday family movie Jack Frost instead _ it's possibly more terrifying.
Folks, please vote Urban Legend. The other two are funny-bad. Urban Legend is "the filmmakers thought people would LIKE this?! oh and by the way, fuck Scream's horrible influence on late-90s slashers" infuriatingly bad. While Tim is equally sharp in his analysis of both types of shitty movies, he's infinitely more ENTERTAINING at reviewing the latter, anger-causing type than he is at the totally watchable former.
ReplyDeleteLake Placid is probably the best of these.
ReplyDeleteUrban Legend is the one that most fits a later in summer "Summer of Blood" review though, and that's clearly the best option, right?
Haven't seen any of them, but I dimly recall Lake Placid getting some actually positive notices back in the day and it looks like the least bad option. I don't recall Urban Legends being well-received, and I have similar memories to Travis of the Jack Frost video art and feeling my IQ drop several points in its presence.
ReplyDeleteFollow the lenticular cover! Jack Frost!
ReplyDeleteIt ain't got Jon Voight and Jennifer Lopez, but I'll make do with Lake Placid.
ReplyDeleteWait the Jack Frost we're voting for isn't the Michael Keaton one!? Huh...
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be honest, I thoroughly enjoy both Urban Legend and Lake Placid. Guess it comes from being 14/15 at the time, but that's the stuff I grew up watching.
ReplyDeleteUrban Legends 2 is up there with the worst films I've ever seen though.
I definitely voted for Jack Frost because I recalled the posters for the Keaton movie from when it came out and took this poll to mean it was a horror movie.
ReplyDelete