The good news: this has already been the summer of Mad Max: Fury Road. The bad news: this is now going to be the summer of movies that aren't Mad Max: Fury Road. That being said, I concede that June has a couple of films that, in any other context, I'd be excited for. Not now, of course, with cinema having reached its end point and all. But some of it could still be entertaining enough.
3.6.2015
It made me so absolutely happy when Entourage, the feature adaptation of the 4-years-in-the-ground HBO program about the worst kind of American maledom, got moved up to a Wednesday release. Because that meant that it couldn't possibly win the weekend at the box office. And that meant that there was nothing that could compel me to see it.
Anybody who reads that sentence and makes this film their ACS fundraiser review request goes on my enemies list.
5.6.2015
Melissa McCarthy and her best director, Paul Feig, team up for Spy, which is, I gather, about a spy. The word that it's the first McCarthy feature that uses here comic talents beyond an ability to spout vulgarisms and be fat makes me incredibly happy, and I'll happily declare this the comedy I'm most excited about for the whole summer.
And because the universe can't say "no", there's a film called Insidious: Chapter 3, and I am so, so angry that I already used my "Inshittyous: Crapter X" joke, because I think that represents the best I can do relative to this franchise.
12.6.2015
Having been born late in 1981 and thus spending the summer of 1993 as an 11-year-old, I am precisely the audience that Jurassic World wants to hit square in the nostalgia. And boy, is it not doing that. I get that everybody wants to see this movie more than I do, but I cannot to save my life imagine why. Those are some boring, generic trailers.
I mean, of course I will see it, but I'm not looking forward to it.
Over in the world of limited releases: the Sundance-feted teen cancer drama Me and Earl and the Dying Girl is a film I'm looking forward almost solely to be furiously pissed-off at it. Not a healthy attitude, I know. But that title. It's like the last of the mid-'00s indie quirkfests was found frozen in the Arctic ice and has been thawed to terrorise the city before it's nuked back into oblivion.
19.6.2015
Speaking of films that Sundance kind of liked that seem just awful, awful, awful to me, Dope and Infinitely Polar Bear are both hitting simultaneously, the latter more than one whole year after its premiere. Talk about promising.
But that doesn't matter! There is a new Pixar film, after two years of nothing and five years since their last clear-cut masterwork! And if the folks at Cannes know what they're talking about, Inside Out is all kinds of perfect in every way. This was, at the start of the summer, my second most-anticipated after Mad Max; everything that's happened in the last month has only solidified that position.
26.6.2015
Having not hated Ted, to my absolute shock, I suppose I find myself not-dreading Ted 2. But boy, can I not find a single reason to be excited for it.
And I don't have any fucking clue what to make of Max, a patriotic story of a soldier dog with PTSD that appears to be at least three totally irreconcilable movies in one, based on the trailer. The unifying thesis seems to be "who doesn't like dogs?" which, while true, is a weird foundation for a wide releease in the middle of summer.
Also, that's a really fascinating double-feature, right there.
02 June 2015
20 comments:
Just a few rules so that everybody can have fun: ad hominem attacks on the blogger are fair; ad hominem attacks on other commenters will be deleted. And I will absolutely not stand for anything that is, in my judgment, demeaning, insulting or hateful to any gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. And though I won't insist on keeping politics out, let's think long and hard before we say anything particularly inflammatory.
Also, sorry about the whole "must be a registered user" thing, but I do deeply hate to get spam, and I refuse to take on the totalitarian mantle of moderating comments, and I am much too lazy to try to migrate over to a better comments system than the one that comes pre-loaded with Blogger.
Well damn, I seem to have accidentally killed StephenM's actual comment while trying to clean up his deleted comment. He is most welcome to post again, especially because he was agreeing with me.
ReplyDeleteFortunately it is still in my clipboard!
DeleteYou're not the only one who thinks those Jurassic Works trailers look bad, because hoo boy have they done a lot to tamp down my enthusiasm for it.
Just to note--I am StephenM. The precious post is by some guy named Stephen who is not me. I mean, good name, though. And you spell it right, too!
DeletePrecious should be previous, clearly. At least that Stephen guy can spell, right?
DeleteAll good things have to come to an end, and what a way to go out. Thank you, Fury Road.
ReplyDeleteRIP Films 1878-2015
Oh, and Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, its funny how pretty every review is 1) a critical rave and 2) goes out of its way to say "yes yes I know this sounds really quirky and shit, I mean that title, girls with cancer, black friends, pop culture references, oh did I mention there are fuckin' animated interludes? cuz they have that too....BUT...its like really good tho"
So I'm interested despite all outside appearances of it being THE MOST SUNDANCE THING EVER
I'm not mean enough to make you review Entourage, but all the FIFA stuff has filled me with the desire to request a review of United Passions, when its carcass finally washes up on the shores of North America.
ReplyDeleteI just saw Spy at a press screening, and I'm kind of baffled by how many positive reviews its getting. Its the best showcase for McCarthy thus far, but the whole thing is hellishly long since it tries to fit a full length bland spy movie in between the bits of improvisatory riffing, and revolves around countless characters that don't really have much comic energy in them. Rose Byrne and Jason Statham are fun, but Jude Law is weirdly lost at sea trying to play a basic James Bond parody character which I really would have thought would come easily to him.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you for Jurassic Park, Tim. As a lifelong lover of dinosaur and monster movies, this should be right up my alley, but I'm more looking forward to going to see the movie so that I can get angry at it, than I am to liking it on its own merits. I think that most of this has to do with my deep, instinctive disgust at the raptors that served as the incarnation of nature's fury in the last films being trained to join Chris Pratt's motorcycle gang, but who knows. Maybe I'm jaded by my lukewarm reaction towards Legendary's other giant monster romp, Godzilla, last year, but here's my prediction: like Godzilla, JW will open huge, but suffer from lukewarm word of mouth and tepid reviews before limping to some sort of symbolic total gross and disappearing into obscurity.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I thought when I saw the Jurassic World trailer (before Mad Max, the greatest move that ever happened) was that the CGI didn't look as convincing as the original.
ReplyDeleteCould it be that much more of what we're seeing on screen is CG now, so the budget is spread out across more than just dinos?
"Could it be that much more of what we're seeing on screen is CG now, so the budget is spread out across more than just dinos?"
ReplyDeleteWell, the shitty DI color treatment doesn't help. It makes EVERYTHING, even the live actors and sets, look ersatz and phony.
I'm with you on Jurassic World too. I grew up liking and being terrified by the first one. From what the trailers show, it looks like a retread of it though. "A dinosaur amusement park! Isn't it gr--oh shit things are going horribly wrong."
ReplyDeletealso looking forward to the low-key Love & Mercy, which looks like a pretty adequate biopic, but it's mostly because Brian Wilson is one of my musical heroes.
Count me in the 'should be the target audience and having trouble caring less' camp for Jurassic World. On top of the powerfully uninteresting trailers, the whole 'let's make up a whole new dinosaur' angle seems terribly misguided to me. Wasn't the premise of seeing Actual Dinosaurs come to life kind of the entire gimmick separating Jurassic Park from every other monster movie in the first place?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Spy opened here ages ago and I'm pleased to report that it's the best film role McCarthy has had yet, that Rose Byrne is still a terrifically gifted supporting actress and that Statham proves eminently capable of taking the piss out of himself. Sadly, it's still also the case that someone really needs to take a firmer hand in reining Paul Feig in creatively.
I am just your age, Tim, and Jurassic Park remains my great popcorn movie experience, the one where I actually had the Spielberg Look on my face the whole time. I have all the nostalgia. For the first Jurassic Park. I'm going to see this one the way people went to see the last Star Wars prequel. Part of it is brand loyalty, more of it is being a completist. But mainly I figure it's unlikely to be the nadir of the series, and worst case scenario at least there'll still be light sabers--oops, dinosaurs.
ReplyDeleteAlso I must confess to being a tiny bit excited that this one is actually set in a park rather than an empty jungle island.
But really it'd be a better movie if they just cgi'd some raptors into the background of Fury Road.
ReplyDeleteSo, yeah, "Jurassic World" looks like an utter sh*tshow, and this is coming from somebody who loved the first movie as a kid.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to cry hysterically during "Inside-Out" though.
Because that mean(s) that it couldn't possibly win the weekend at the box office. And that meant that there was nothing that could compel me to see it.
ReplyDeleteSex and the City 2 never hit #1 and yet, it's reviewed right here. Don't worry, Tim. In time, your own masochism and morbid curiosity will bring you home.
I will go and see Jurassic World just for the dinosaur footage, because that's what I do. Those trailers, though.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, I am hoping for something that is stupidly entertaining at best, and I'm really worried I might not even get that. Do want to edit Chris Pratt and his raptors over "Come Get Your Love," but don't we all?
Apologies! I can only excuse myself by blaming encroaching senility.
ReplyDeleteIf it continues its encroachment then, God willing, we can look forward to weekly reviews of "Foodfight!"
ReplyDeleteMaybe I have problems, but while the first 30 minutes of Fury Road were amazing, I was bored to death by the last 60. There are only so many ways to drive in a straight line and jump from car to car, and frankly, Miller used an awful lot of them in Mad Max 2. And when the plot literally is "everyone drives in a straight line, then turns around and does it again the other way" it's hard to give a shit.
ReplyDeleteI won't deny the great performances, characters and world that the film contains, but again, those were all accomplished in the first third. And I was totally let down by the ending, which left all of my questions re that fabulous world building unanswered. I'm not saying it was a bad movie, but I'm really surprised at its reception here as the greatest thing ever created. If your metric is "minutes of car chase per hour" then well done, but I was left fairly cold by it in the end.